I Hate People

"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips)
09/29/2016 at 14:01 • Filed to: None

Somebody keyed my car. Luckily it isn’t huge, which is kind of weird, but I notice it, and it pisses me off.

DISCUSSION (36)

Shankems > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:03

Fucking Zoro.

Tripper > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:07

Kinja'd!!!

mazda616 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:07

Damn, that sucks.

People suck.

Leon711 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:08

Someone did mine recently, properly. Door and rear quarter.

Completely random event.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Shankems
09/29/2016 at 14:08

Among the my many fears of owning a nice car

shop-teacher > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:09

Bastards.

mazda616 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:13

Also. Sorry for double reply. I just thought of this.

My wife has scratches like that down the sides of her CX-5 (it’s also blue). They are from women’s purses banging against the side of the car as they walked into the building where my wife used to work. It was and is a large call center with mostly female employees, so purses hit all the cars as workers walk between them.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:16

Who did you piss off?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > mazda616
09/29/2016 at 14:16

I kind of thought that for a split second, but the car is super low and the scratches are back and forth.

Steve in Manhattan > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:16

What sort of car?

And who gets any satisfaction from doing this? Breaking shit I understand, but damaging someone else’s property for ... what?

Rico > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:19

WHY?!?!?!?!? What causes people to have this mental lapse and do this to someone’s property?! I don’t fuckin get it.

Then if you were to beat the fuck out of them, somehow that makes you wrong. Whoever did this I hope they get into a car accident and don’t make it.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:20

Could be unintentional from a belt buckle. Don’t ask me how I know.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/29/2016 at 14:21

No one that I know of. Unless you count the Elantra that tried to run me into the opposing lanes the other day, but that was all them.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Rico
09/29/2016 at 14:22

If I caught them, it would take a lot for me to not put the fear of death into them.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Steve in Manhattan
09/29/2016 at 14:22

Fiesta ST, so not exactly a status symbol.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/29/2016 at 14:23

I thought that could be it for a moment of, well it could’ve been me, but it’s a bit low to be that.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:23

Where is it on the car? It is possible that they got out of their car and went to put a backpack on and swiped it across your car by accident. They may not have even realized they hit your car.

Rico > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:24

The way I look at it is if you key someone’s car you deserve to get whatever is coming to you, you got yourself into that situation. Nobody put a gun to their head and forced them to do it. If they get fucked up as a result of it they have no one to blame but themselves.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
09/29/2016 at 14:25

Front bumper, next to the badge. It’s a bit low for that.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Rico
09/29/2016 at 14:27

Forced tattoo? It seems fitting. You didn’t want, and it’s expensive to get removed.

Grab Paddle > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:28

someone surely sat on it with jeans on. moved around a lot and left some marks. sorry that happened but it looks to be only in the clear coat so you can easily buff it out.

Tristan > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:30

I once owned a 2009 Focus SES 5-speed coupe. Yes, it was the worst generation of Focus. Yes, I almost immediately regretted buying it. But, it was a new car with new car paint and no scratches anywhere. It stressed me out and made me an insufferable douche about my car. I was so overprotective and took every precaution to keep my paint nice. I sold it after 6 months of ownership because it was a miserable pile of “who gives a shit” from the moment it was hatefully conceived, but since then I exclusively drive (good) cars with shit paint. I park wherever, and I am happy.

Leadbull > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:33

Yeah, there’s definite zig zaggage, which is hard to do repeatedly on accident, without knowing.

Steve in Manhattan > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:33

I’d say 95% of people have no idea what it is, and it’s not as if it’s a rich asshole in a Bentley who cut you off and flipped you the bird. People do, in fact, suck.

Needmoargarage > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:40

Really doesn’t look like an intentional key job. To me it looks like someone haphazardly leaned against your car for a bit or rubbed against it unintentionally. Bet that would polish out.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Needmoargarage
09/29/2016 at 14:44

Could be, but it’s on the bumper. On the front. It’s too low to really lean on at that spot.

Needmoargarage > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:46

Hmm...then something brushed against it maybe? Annoying...but probably unintentional. Hope it’s an easy fix!

for Michigan > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:49

Looks more like you hit some brush or something. Humans aren’t that good at making patterns like those freehand.

Rico > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:50

Sure how about Dick Head, on their forehead so they can never hide who they are.

BorkBorkBjork > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 14:56

Hmm, the two “Z” lines are awfully parallel, maybe a shopping cart impact?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > BorkBorkBjork
09/29/2016 at 15:10

It’s on top, not on the side.

BorkBorkBjork > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 15:21

Hard to see the exact location from the photo. I would still say it is some kind of accidental impact, the lines are too parallel for a human hand to do.

Unless you made enemies with roboticists who manufactured a tiny keying robot.

arl > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 15:56

I can just image the idiot parked next to you. They come out of the store with arms full of purchased stuff. They get to their car and realize they can’t get to the keys in their pocket while holding all the crap.

“Hmm. Where to set down the crap in my hands whilst I fetch my keys? Hmm. Aha! I’ll just set my box of crap down on top of the car next to mine. How convenient! Oops, my box of crap fell off this guys roof. Oh well, off to drive slow in the left lane and not use my blinker!”

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/29/2016 at 16:14

Humans are the absolute worst.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
09/30/2016 at 08:37

I was thinking about this for some reason this morning... what about kids? A few months ago after church I watched a 10 year old boy in the Camry parked next to our Outback open and slam his door into the side of our car just for fun. Left a big dent, scratches, and paint transfer. I’ve never met this kid before (he was with the Boy Scout troop that had just gotten back from a camping trip on Sunday right around when worship ended), so I think it was just random. I ran over and yelled at him, then his dad ran over and yelled at me for yelling at his kid. If it hadn’t been at a church there is a good chance there would have been a fist fight.

jkm7680 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
10/02/2016 at 09:36

Ouch, sorry that happened.

Doesn’t look like key marks though. Looks like somebody dragged something against the side of it or something.